Robin Williams didn’t die from suicide. I only just heard the sad, sad news of Robin Williams’s death. My wife sent me a message to tell me he had died, and, when I asked her what he died from, she told me something that nobody in the news seems to be talking about.
When people die from cancer, their cause of death can be various horrible things – seizure, stroke, pneumonia – and when someone dies after battling cancer, and people ask “How did they die?”, you never hear anyone say “pulmonary embolism”, the answer is always “cancer”. A Pulmonary Embolism can be the final cause of death with some cancers, but when a friend of mine died from cancer, he died from cancer. That was it. And when I asked my wife what Robin Williams died from, she, very wisely, replied “Depression”.
The word “suicide” gives many people the impression that “it was his own decision,” or “he chose to die, whereas most people with cancer fight to live.” And, because Depression is still such a misunderstood condition, you can hardly blame people for not really understanding. Just a quick search on Twitter will show how many people have little sympathy for those who commit suicide…
But, just as a Pulmonary Embolism is a fatal symptom of cancer, suicide is a fatal symptom of Depression. Depression is an illness, not a choice of lifestyle. You can’t just “cheer up” with depression, just as you can’t choose not to have cancer. When someone commits suicide as a result of Depression, they die from Depression – an illness that kills millions each year. It is hard to know exactly how many people actually die from Depression each year because the figures and statistics only seem to show how many people die from “suicide” each year (and you don’t necessarily have to suffer Depression to commit suicide, it’s usually just implied). But considering that one person commits suicide every 14 minutes in the US alone, we clearly need to do more to battle this illness, and the stigmas that continue to surround it. Perhaps Depression might lose some its “it was his own fault” stigma, if we start focussing on the illness, rather than the symptom. Robin Williams didn’t die from suicide. He died from Depression*. It wasn’t his choice to suffer that.
We were grabbing a bite of lunch at a small cafe, in a mall, right across from a booth that sold jewelry and where ears could be pierced for a fee. A mother approaches with a little girl of six or seven years old. The little girl is clearly stating that she doesn’t want her ears pierced, that’s she’s afraid of how much it will hurt, that she doesn’t like earrings much in the first place. Her protests, her clear ‘no’ is simply not heard. The mother and two other women, who work the booth, begin chatting and trying to engage the little girl in picking out a pair of earrings. She has to wear a particular kind when the piercing is first done but she could pick out a fun pair for later.
"I don’t want my ears pierced."
"I don’t want any earrings."
The three adults glance at each other conspiratorially and now the pressure really begins. She will look so nice, all the other girls she knows wear earrings, the pain isn’t bad.
She, the child, sees what’s coming and starts crying. As the adults up the volume so does she, she’s crying and emitting a low wail at the same time. “I DON’T WANT MY EARS PIERCED.”
Her mother leans down and speaks to her, quietly but strongly, the only words we could hear were ‘… embarrassing me.’
We heard, then, two small screams, when the ears were pierced.
Little children learn early and often that ‘no doesn’t mean no.’
Little children learn early that no one will stand with them, even the two old men looking horrified at the events from the cafeteria.
Little girls learn early and often that their will is not their own.
No means no, yeah, right.
Most often, for kids and others without power, ”no means force.”
If you’ve cut a negative person from your life, whether they were abusive or just someone who wasn’t a positive influence on you, at NO POINT in your healing are you required to let that person BACK into your life.
Your healing should never be contingent on you bringing people who have harmed you back into your space. Your healing does not require you to give these people a second chance to harm you.
i love the term “partners” are we dating? are we robbing a bank? do we run a legal firm? are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit? who knows.
I’d like to cancel my subscription to Menstrual Cycle Monthly
I’m sorry, it appears you’ve taken out a fifty-sixty year subscription. However, we can pause it for nine months as long as you sign a contract that says you’ll take out a subscription to Baby Daily for at least eighteen years
Damn those Terms and Conditions.
i didn’t even read them i’ve made a terrible mistake
With their new album ‘Noise’, Japanese doom mavericks Boris have managed to combine the melodic, poppy approach of their recent work with the crushing weight of their earlier, heavier material. Jonathan Dick caught up with the band to find out how they did it, and caught a fascinating glimpse into the trio’s creative process…
The fact that Boris take their name from a Melvins song has proved itself to be a more than appropriate connection between two bands whose sound has become as well known for being unpredictable and difficult to categorize as it has for being influential to a number of artists and bands from an incredibly wide range of styles. In their twenty-two years of existence as a band, the Boris sound has mutated from the band’s earliest days with experimental noise to the more pop balanced stylings of their recent releases. Though each of their nineteen releases, including this year’s excellent ‘Noise’, are inherently different from each other with the trio of Atsuo (drums/vocals), Wata (guitar/keyboards/vocals), and Takeshi (bass/guitar/lead vocals) as resistant as ever to anything but change – the band’s central musical theme is still unwaveringly set on loud. It’s a commonality that finds the band again sharing the same aesthetic stage with their namesake who, for all their genre bending, will always be an immovable force in the realm of the loud and the heavy.
I’ll be going to the shows on 8/13 in Fukuoka as well as 8/30 in Tokyo. It would actually be pretty cool to meet up with others in Tokyo since I don’t really know the Shin-Kiba area well. Of course it would be cool to meet fans in Fukuoka as well if you are in the area. Also, does anyone have any recommendations on places to eat? That would be cool too.