Ali W

We were grabbing a bite of lunch at a small cafe, in a mall, right across from a booth that sold jewelry and where ears could be pierced for a fee. A mother approaches with a little girl of six or seven years old. The little girl is clearly stating that she doesn’t want her ears pierced, that’s she’s afraid of how much it will hurt, that she doesn’t like earrings much in the first place. Her protests, her clear ‘no’ is simply not heard. The mother and two other women, who work the booth, begin chatting and trying to engage the little girl in picking out a pair of earrings. She has to wear a particular kind when the piercing is first done but she could pick out a fun pair for later.

"I don’t want my ears pierced."

"I don’t want any earrings."

The three adults glance at each other conspiratorially and now the pressure really begins. She will look so nice, all the other girls she knows wear earrings, the pain isn’t bad.

She, the child, sees what’s coming and starts crying. As the adults up the volume so does she, she’s crying and emitting a low wail at the same time. “I DON’T WANT MY EARS PIERCED.”

Her mother leans down and speaks to her, quietly but strongly, the only words we could hear were ‘… embarrassing me.’

We heard, then, two small screams, when the ears were pierced.

Little children learn early and often that ‘no doesn’t mean no.’

Little children learn early that no one will stand with them, even the two old men looking horrified at the events from the cafeteria.

Little girls learn early and often that their will is not their own.

No means no, yeah, right.

Most often, for kids and others without power, ”no means force.”

from "No Means Force" at Dave Hingsburger’s blog.

This is important. It doesn’t just apply to little girls and other children, though it often begins there.

For the marginalized, our “no’s” are discounted as frivolous protests, rebelliousness, or anger issues, or we don’t know what we’re talking about, or we don’t understand what’s happening.

When “no means force” we become afraid to say no.

(via k-pagination)

Source k-pagination


My newest baby #bonsai

My newest baby #bonsai


Sleeping devil #cat #cuteanimal

Sleeping devil #cat #cuteanimal


hello-imaliveandwandwell:

hiroshimalated:

Please keep this circulating. Cops are getting more and more brazen, know your rights!

good to know


thebigblackwolfe:

If you’ve cut a negative person from your life, whether they were abusive or just someone who wasn’t a positive influence on you, at NO POINT in your healing are you required to let that person BACK into your life.

Your healing should never be contingent on you bringing people who have harmed you back into your space. Your healing does not require you to give these people a second chance to harm you.

Source thebigblackwolfe


politicallyincorrectwalrus:

i love the term “partners”
are we dating?
are we robbing a bank?
do we run a legal firm?
are we the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies and are members of an elite squad known as the special victims unit?
who knows.

Source politicallyincorrectwalrus


normanbecile:

musicofthestage:

timelordparadise:

myownlost:

I’d like to cancel my subscription to Menstrual Cycle Monthly

I’m sorry, it appears you’ve taken out a fifty-sixty year subscription. However, we can pause it for nine months as long as you sign a contract that says you’ll take out a subscription to Baby Daily for at least eighteen years

Damn those Terms and Conditions.

i didn’t even read them i’ve made a terrible mistake

Source myownlost


getyourspoons:

The flower shop scene in all its infinite glory.

Source getyourspoons



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